In the pursuit of goals, I have always reminded people to ensure that they set clear goals. However, when things go awry, it is our resilience that will help to keep us going. The unfortunate thing is that some people do not have that resilience for moving forward any more than some people can’t run a marathon.
A marathon is actually an apt analogy. Anyone can run a marathon, and we don’t care if we can’t make it. But when it matters, a lot of people tend to become attached to the goal. It’s almost like the emotion of guilt is manufactured once that goal is set.
The approach to NLP is a very humanistic one. In order to achieve your goals, you must first ensure that you adapt, be flexible and create changes inside of yourself in order to achieve your goals. At the same time, there is no part of the formal NLP literature that talks abut emotional handling of shame.
Here’s what I would suggest.
Look at the things that generated guilt and shame for you, and acknowledge that part of you that has brought this attention to you.
Then, follow this feeling to the core.
Once you are able to follow this feeling to the core, you will discover interesting things about the origins.
In most of our lives, busy as we are, it is essential to take the time to stop for a moment and pay attention to ourselves. In NLP, this is commonly known as self-calibration. Ultimately, when you are blinded by the external world, take some time to regain “in”sight.
Guilt is a powerful emotion because it reveals lessons you have to learn in order to become stronger and more powerful. The only reason why guilt/shame stands in the way is because of limiting beliefs that prevent you from getting past the fact that you failed. In reality, you took action. Action merely begets feedback.
Take the core feeling and acknowledge what it is saying to you. Once you listen clearly and honestly you will be better able to understand the reason for it’s existence and use it to move forward toward your destiny.
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