NLP is a way of getting you to be resourceful by learning how to build [...]]]> I’ve been looking around the internet and can’t believe the bunch of bull that people are putting on the net regarding the Fast Phobia Cure. There’s a lot of amateurs out there who don’t really know what they are doing.

NLP is a way of getting you to be resourceful by learning how to build and handle your own emotional cocktails. Not everyone has the ability to do that and it requires flexibility because every technique that is built for a specific issue in NLP was modeled by someone else.

What you might find is that the Fast Phobia Cure happens to work well for people who have never learnt how to dissociate. Originally, you will find this technique called the “V-K Dissociation Technique”. Conversely, there are some people with what psychologists call a “dissociative disorder” who actually are competent in dissociation and don’t really need this technique.

Essentially, though, not everyone will go through the technique like a textbook. Unlike the claims made by some websites that this is a powerful therapeutic technique, this technique needs to be tailored in order to fit the needs of the client. And of course is not a replacement for therapy. It works nicely with regular people. But you know that humans aren’t the same across the board. We have our own quirks and complexities, so it takes an experienced individual to be able to detect these differences.

Use with caution, preferably with an expert you trust!

Step 1: Find a resourceful place. Anchor that.

Step 2: Float into a place where you can experience the phobia at a distance. If conducting this, also preframe the process and anticipate reactions of your client.

Step 3: See yourself in that place. Apply submodality mapping techniques utilizing states of intense humor and unstoppable confidence.

Step 4: Test the emotional intensity. If too high, activate the resource.

Step 5: Float back into the actual experience and test. Has the fear disappeared? If not, map the submodality from other representational systems until the fear disappears.

Step 6: Future pace.

Step 7: Physical test. Bring the real stimulus and have the person test on the real situation as best as possible.

NOTE: I highly recommend that if you have not gone through formal training as a psychotherapist or in NLP, you do not attempt this on someone who has an actual phobia. It takes a wee bit more than just these 7 steps.

One such way is personal development. I’ve found NLP to be a great skill in [...]]]>

NLP is not a therapeutic process, and isn’t a psychological approach. It is a way of enhancing your resourcefulness and enjoying life. If someone is interested to discover how NLP is used, they can find so in many, many ways.

One such way is personal development. I’ve found NLP to be a great skill in developing better relationships by understanding how people communicate, for example.

In this case, how can you deal with someone who is quick tempered? The simple way to find out is to know that person well. Identify the triggers to that behavior. Very often, quick temper is triggered off by a variety of factors. Your job, if using NLP, is to look for resourceful emotions to completely counteract those (we call that collapsing anchors).

1. Find the triggering event. It could be a person’s voice, a particular situation or a particular sound, maybe even a combination of all of these.
2. Reframe these events before they happen. This is important – you don’t want to wait until it occurs then do “NLP stuff” because you’re training the brain. And the brain does need time to react and adapt!
3. Associate these triggering events to different emotions. Once you have completed step 2, it would be easy to associate triggers to a different emotional state.

Here’s a word of caution, though. If you want to handle someone quick tempered, you may also want to consider if you are the trigger sometimes. Are your listening skills up to par? do you know what your partner needs? If you are able to listen and put your own self out of the way sometimes, it can help! To help you build those skills, you can approach a relationship coach who can then guide you a long.

There are two ways to do this, but the easiest way is to [...]]]> A lot of people tell me that in the spur of the moment they aren’t able to deal with emotions that are overwhelming. I thought about it and figured that I’d been in that position myself several times but managed to cope.

There are two ways to do this, but the easiest way is to utilize a verbal trigger to get you into a dissociated mode, something like a personal code. A phrase like “What’s going on” can help. This forces you to get some awareness. If another person responds to you in a negative way, saying “where is this person coming from” or “what is this person’s highest positive intent” can also dissociate you from just purely reacting and assuming negative things about your interactions.

This, however, requires you to assume that people have a positive intent behind any behavior. This is a basic presumption that to hold in order to make this works.

Emotional Management Technique

Step 1: Use your internal verbal trigger.

Step 2: See yourself floating out of your body and above the situation like a “helicopter view”.

Step 3: Ask for the highest possible purpose or intention for this situation or event. Step into the shoes of that person and go out into the future considering what outcome they want, or what possible good can come out of the situation.

Step 4: Consider new possible responses in light of the positive intention and re-associate into your body.

What happens in your head when you’re unhappy? You think something isn’t right, or someone else should do something for you but didn’t – you basically think of things that are not going your way.

You may then make a conclusion that you’re [...]]]> There are a lot of unhappy people in the world, aren’t there.

What happens in your head when you’re unhappy? You think something isn’t right, or someone else should do something for you but didn’t – you basically think of things that are not going your way.

You may then make a conclusion that you’re not happy.

Well, actually, happiness is not what happens to you. Happiness is an emotional state derived from neuro-chemical changes in your brain. It’s based on the mental representations you build (see ‘submodalities).  The level of happiness is not created as a result of having something, well, at least not necessarily anything tangible.

So, think of all the things that you want. Imagine as vividly as you can that you are already living that life. How does that feel? Good? You could then say you are “happy”.

But some people will say that when they wake up from that dream, they become sad again because they are in a reality where they know that their imaginings will never come true!

Isn’t that sad! I mean, not sad that their dream will not come true, but to have an absolute believe that where they are and where they imagine are two different things or places.

The fact is, if you imagine yourself feeling happy, you already go there. The main issue is not whether you feel happy or not, but rather the expectation that you have to feel happy all the time. And true enough, we are all creatures of habit. The less we think about being happy, the less happy we become. We are also emotional masochists sometimes. We ruminate in bad feelings and are really good at feeling bad for no good reason. Don’t you know someone who can get upset at literally almost anything?

From a neurological perspective, what does that mean? Aren’t you rehearsing the same feelings, thereby begetting the same feelings? Neurology has discovered that when the brain fires the same patterns, they literally solidify and become easier to access. In other words, over 90% of the world’s population regularly trains their brain to make them feel bad.

Do I never feel bad?

Well, of course not. I’d rather just focus on the good feelings that I want to build and leave out the rehearing of bad ones. It doesn’t mean I’ll ignore the bad feelings, because bad feelings can also be signals. I mean… if I feel lots of pain, then it’s a signal that I have to attend to. If I’m stepping on a bear trap, I can’t just ignore the pain. I attend to where the pain is, and then figure out how to remove the thing that’s causing the pain.

To ensure you keep triggering happy thoughts, you need to build for yourself a reminder system. What are your successes? Who cares about you? What can you do that others can’t do? What makes people feel you are special?

As you build a mental database of these items, imagine if everything in your life just reminds you of these things. Even the worst of problems help you to connect to the mental database of great things happening in your life.

Most of the time, human beings forget that there are good things that have happened in their lives. We forget that even the time we could tie our shoelaces was a triumph, let alone learning to walk or swim or make friends. We take for granted these achievements, then say that life is bad.

Instead, we need to remember. We need to learn to re-connect ourselves with moments in our lives that matter, even for a split second. Even if it no longer matters today (lollipops may have mattered at age 5 more than they do now).

Travel back in time (see ‘timeline’) and associate in the moments of your success and happiness. If you do that everytime you open your eyes, turn on the TV, argue with someone, open a door, write an email, start your car… anything can remind you of the other side of you. Simmer in those good feelings for a while before you start your day!