The most important skill, in my opinion, is state control. Personally, the word ‘control’ isn’t really the best word to use, because people are often already over-controlling their emotions.
What I have discovered is that people who ignore their feelings often end up compartmentalizing these emotions in a way that prevent integration. One of the ways in which these emotions actually end up coming back up over and over is that there hasn’t been any resolution to it. History, it seems, has a knack of repeating itself.
Hasn’t there been a time where emotions tend to wreak havoc for you? What emotion was that? If you use that emotion to revisit its source, you will probably find a few things. Firstly, there may be memory fragments. You might not be able to see the memory chronologically. This often means that the memory has not been fully integrated and explored.
Secondly, if you revisit the emotion at its source, you will find that they are childhood sources. For instance, a ruined relationship may connect with a childhood memory of someone whom you were attached to, leaving your life. Many of these require exploration and investigation, especially since the goal of integration is an important one as you progress in life.
State control, therefore, is a process of looking at your states and getting yourself in a position where you can really see yourself. Many of the states that used to bother you will at least be within your awareness, and possibly, become integrated in a manner that helps you to reach clarity and happiness.