NLP Techniques: Reframing

A reframe is a way to see things differently. It is about allowing the possibility of a new perspective. Sometimes, some people can view something that is generally positive in a negative way. This tends to be disempowering. Instead, we want to view something generally unpleasant or negative in a positive way. This does not remove the problem, but allows us to feel resourceful.

  • I admit I am lazy, that’s why I keep failing.
    • You’re not lazy, you’re just trying to protect yourself from embarrassment.
    • You may think you are failing – you are actually learning.
    • You’re honest to the point of willing to expose your weknesses
    • You are only saying this because you are frustrated.
    • I know many people who failed to, who eventually became very successful.

 

  • I scored only 80%, it means I’m not good enough.
    • You’re not bad. You simply have high expectations that you will reach with the right strategy.
    • You like to achieve perfection.
    • I know people who are at 100% who are still not good enough.
    • Damaging your sense of self-worth isn’t worth the extra 20%.
    • It’s not your result that isn’t good enough – it’s your self-esteem that isn’t good enough.

 

  • The subject I study is boring.
    • E.g. Of course it is boring, because you haven’t seen anything challenging about it yet.
    • It’s the mindset you carry with it that makes it boring.
    • It’s not about the boredom, it’s about the reason why you are studying in the first place.
    • You’re only saying that because you feel you can’t do well in this subject.
    • Well, at least it’s predictable.

 

  • I hate my teachers – they always force me to do things I don’t like.
    • E.g. Aren’t you surprised they believe in you enough to make you do these things?
    • I hated my teachers – they let me do anything I wanted and look where I am now.
    • It’s good to know you desire freedom, and true freedom does come with a price.
    • If you cared about your own children, would you freely let them do things that would endanger them?

 

  • Life is not worth living because I have a disability.
    • You don’t have  disability, you have a disabling thinking pattern.
    • If you think this way all the time, no wonder life isn’t worth living.
    • Many people who have disabilities love life more than those who don’t.
    • A worthwhile life is created from a vision, not from a lack of disability